Calling You vol.8

翌日、琴子はお袋に付き添われて、ICUから脳神経外科の個室に移った。
琴子の反応が怖かったが、どうしても心配で、顔が見たくて、琴子の個室に向かった。
琴子は個室の入口に立つ俺を見て、ハッとした顔をしたが、もう取り乱すことはなかった。
これなら話ができるかもと期待して、ベッドに近付こうとした俺にお袋が言った。
「直樹は、ソファーの位置より、琴子ちゃんに近付かないで。」
「何でだよ。」
「当たり前じゃない。琴子ちゃんをこんな目に遭わせて。私は琴子ちゃんの味方ですから。
 ほんとだったら部屋にだって入れないところよ。感謝してほしいくらいだわっ!」
一人でヒートアップするお袋に、琴子が困ったような顔で少しだけ微笑んだ。
あれからはじめて見る琴子の微笑みに、胸が締め付けられる。今すぐに抱きしめたい。

昨日まで東京と神戸に離れ離れで、3ヶ月ぶりに逢えたのに、琴子はベッドの上で、
その琴子に俺は近付くこともできない。俺は、いったい何を間違ってしまったんだろう。
琴子の昨日の様子を思い出す。肩を震わせ、呆然として、涙を零し続けていた琴子。
声を失くすほど、傷つけてしまった俺の顔など、本当はいまも見たくはないのだろう。
俺の顔を見れば、嫌でも昨日の出来事を思い出して、いまも泣くのを我慢しているのかもしれない。
お袋がいなかったら、顔を見ることさえ適わなかっただろう。俺はお袋に感謝した。

「琴子ちゃん、見てみて〜。ノートと色鉛筆を持ってきたの。
 琴子ちゃんが何か言いたいことがあるときは、このノートに書けばいいと思うの。
 色鉛筆はね。気持ちを表すのよ〜 例えばね、〈はい〉って返事を書くとするでしょ。
 ピンクの〈はい〉はうれしそうよね〜 黒の〈はい〉は嫌々って感じかしらね〜」
「何ややこしいこと言ってんだ。返事なんて、首を縦に振るか、横に振るかでわかるだろ。」
「まぁ、嫌な子ねぇ。親の顔が見てみたいわっ!」
「自分じゃねぇか。」

憎まれ口を叩きながら、本当は琴子を心配していた。ただでさえ混乱しているのに、
そんな訳の分からないお袋の思い付きに付き合わされて、自分の気持ちを色で表しながら、
言葉を書くなんて、不器用な琴子には負担になると思った。
〈お義母さん、ありがとう〉
琴子はピンク色でそう書いたノートを胸の前で抱えて、お袋に見せた。
「琴子ちゃん」
涙ぐんでしまったお袋の背中を、琴子が擦っている。
「ちょっと、カルテ取って来る。ソファーのところで整理すれば文句ないだろ。」
俺は、個室から出ると大きく息を吐いた。
ノートに書かれた琴子の字は、琴子が本当に声が出ないってことを俺の目の前に付きつけ、
十分にわかっているつもりでいた俺を打ちのめした。
ドアの外で俺はPHSを取り出して、呼び出しがかかったフリをした。
「呼び出しだ。行って来る。」

俺はその足で本屋に向かい、数冊の失声症についての医学書を買って、マンションに戻った。
留守番電話が目に入る。メッセージは増えていなかった。
最後の2件のメッセージを削除すると、最初から琴子のメッセージを聞いた。琴子のメッセージを消去したことはなかった。
琴子の声が部屋に満ちていく。メッセージの最後に必ず繰り返される言葉。
入江君、大好き...入江君、大好きだよ...入江君、大好きだからね...

俺は医学書を片手に、パソコンを立ち上げ、失声症の症例と治療法を調べ始めた。
ふと気がつくと、本に差し込む日の光が茜色に色づき始めていた。昼食を摂ることも忘れていた。
コンビニで食事を調達し、簡単に食事を摂り、最後の一冊になった医学書を読み始めた。
失声症は、女性に多い病気で、治療をしないでも治るものや、一週間程度の発声練習で成果が現れるものから、
治療期間が長引き、一進一退の状態が続くものもあるようだった。
治療に共通しているのは、結局原因となっているストレスを取り除くこと。
俺は一週間分の着替えを準備して、琴子の待つ病院に向かった。


琴子の個室に入って行き、お袋に告げる。
「今夜は、俺が付き添う。俺のマンションに戻って、お袋は休んでくれ。」
「嫌よ。琴子ちゃんにずっと付き添うわ。」
「何言ってんだ。明日からも来てもらわなきゃいけない。
 今日は朝早くからこっちに来たんだ。疲れてないわけないだろ。
 お袋にまで倒れられたら、こっちが困るんだよ。
 琴子、俺は呼ばれない限り、ここからお前に近付かない。それなら、いいな。」
琴子は、小さく頷いた。
ぴろりお
2010年10月22日(金) 17時18分58秒 公開
■この作品の著作権はぴろりおさんにあります。無断転載は禁止です。
■作者からのメッセージ
失声症については、簡単にしらべましたが、間違いがあったら、ごめんなさい。
まだまだ続きますが、お付き合い頂けるとうれしいです♪
さらに励みになりますので、よろしければ感想を聞かせてください!!

この作品の感想をお寄せください。
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